A Do-over Please...

We have had a few rays of hope that spring will actually come back to us... Days where the sun shines and warms the air enough to sneak into our back yard or a park for a few hours. A few weeks ago we had one of those afternoons and I had the common sense to grab my camera as we raced outside to get in as much fresh air as we could. I didn't even look at any of the photos until tonight. I found myself smiling and proud of the young people these five joys are becoming... And tearful because of how old they all appear. It's not an optical illusion or trick. They are old. Will is 8. Riley is 6. Emery is 5. Hadley and Ainsley are 2. 

Today was one of those days that seemed to drag on... and then tonight the Lord gifted me with the reminder of these faces. Time isn't dragging on. It is flying. Flying by.  Earlier today, in the midst of winter coats and endless energy I would have wished winter away. I would have skipped the next two months. Tonight? I would go back to October when it began to get cold and start again. I would take a do-over if I could. All the more time with these precious faces.

Hadley and Will

Ainsley

A Truly "Scary" Night

With 5 children so small and close in age, I find that days and weeks tend to blend together. It is sometimes hard to remember particular memories clearly... This is not one of those nights. We went to the zoo in early October 2014 for Boo At The Zoo and it was one of those nights that was full of wonderful memories... The weather was perfect. Cool, but not cold. It was sunny. No traffic getting into the parking lot. My Mom, Paul(brother), and Laura(sister in law) all came to help us keep track of everyone. There were no melt-downs(unusual with 2 two year olds). Hadley led our group from candy station to candy station like a pro. A trip to Comfy Cow for ice-cream afterwards. After getting everyone in bed that night, Blake and I sat down and were able to look through these pictures and have distinct memories about all of them! Such a gift during such a busy period of life...

Hadley

Will

Emery, Will, Riley

The Gang

The crew with Mimi, Uncle Paul, and Aunt Laura

Ainsley and Aunt Laura

Emery

Add caption

Ainsley

Hadley

Ainsley

Hadley

Our Advent List For 2014

This is only our second year of doing a month of Advent activities, but I feel that it is going much more smoothly then last year! We learned a lot... Like to plan our activities around our calendar! Always do EASY things, such as candy, on Sunday's. And write in pencil for easy edits! :)

Here is our list for a little inspiration :

1. Decorate tree
2. Set up and start advent candles
3. Walk through lights at Brown Park
4. Make jingle bell necklaces (we used a $1 kit from Target)
5. Christmas Pizza (simply shape pizza dough into candy canes and trees)
6. Paint nutcrackers (set of 5 for $5 at Hobby Lobby)
7. Christmas candy
8. Bekalu Night (shopping for our Eyes That See sponsor child)
9. Mega Cavern Light(we scored a groupon and a discount code making it CHEAP!)
10. Photos with Santa (we don't do Santa, but the kids LOVE getting their picture made with him)
11. Give the book "Santa Is Coming To Kentucky" - It is truly adorable!
12. Make Christmas cards with finger prints
13. Bake/Ice Christmas cookies
14. Christmas candy
15. Make s'mores over our fireplace
16. Christmas Movie/Popcorn/Hot Cocoa ( we buy 1 every year to build our collection)
17. Paint Ornaments (bought on clearance last year)
18. Out for dessert following their school Christmas music program
19. Donate change at Salvation Army
20. Christmas Plaques (bought on clearance last year)
21. Christmas candy
22. Drive and look at Christmas lights
23. Ice cream trip
24. Bake a Happy Birthday Jesus cake for Christmas Day

A Change Is Gonna Come

For as long as I can remember, I wanted to homeschool my children. I have wonderful, fond memories of my time being homeschooled and I just always thought - What could be better? It was a big conversation - or 5 - between Blake and I when we were dating because he has great memories of growing up in the public school system. When pre-school age rolled around for Will, though, homeschooling seemed to fit our family well. 

And then I got pregnant with the twins. Twins change your life in a way you can never prepare yourself for. Will began kindergarten about 2 months before they were born and my mom offered to school him because my life was about to be consumed with nursing and burping. What we didn't know is that it was also going to be consumed with colic and allergies and pumping and supplementing and reflux... and literally NO SLEEP! Will would have learned nothing that first year without my mom. 

Our second year of homeschooling upped from one child to two. Will in 1st and Riley in Kindergarten. The twins were not even 1 our first day of school. Blake came home from work that evening and I knew I had to say it - "I don't think homeschooling is good for our family right now..." We survived the second year with, once again, my mother's constant help. 

As He always is, The Lord was so good to us during that year. Will and Riley actually learned and Blake and I became more confident in the Lord's leading... What really, just, blessed our hearts was my homeschooling parents complete support and encouragement. 

The choice of school was fairly easy and we quickly settled on a smallish Christian school. The rest is history! Will and Riley have just thrived! Their teachers are such a blessing and we can easily be involved with their classes... 

I don't know that we won't go back to homeschooling again one day. I am confident that we are doing exactly what The Lord has for our family at this time. And in that there is such peace... 

Torn

I haven't had words. I have wanted to, but they just haven't come. The thoughts haven't formed. I think it's because the Lord knew we needed a break. A 2 year break really. A break to diaper and bath and feed and play and school. Time to build character and speak truth to little hearts that are beginning to understand the most precious truths. We have needed every spare second to hug and kiss and cuddle... There is alot of that with 5 little bodies.

And now summer is upon us... And I can't decide if it has been enough time. I love this blog. I love the memories. The reminders. The markers of God's goodness and faithfulness. But one of the many things that the Lord has been doing for me is instilling in me is a desire for the "here and now". My children are growing! I have become afraid to even blink! :)

So, I'm not sure if I am back yet. I want to be. I hope to be. But if I'm not? It's because I am just having too much fun. I am making memories. I am living in the moment. I am being reminded that today only happens today. I can't get the time back. I can't relive the hours or experiences.

If I'm back, it's because 5 kids does something to one's memory and I want to be sure to remember... To remember them now, while they are little. While they can still crawl on my lap. While they still want to hold my hand and kiss my lips.

Life is good. God is good. We are blessed. Maybe I have begun to find my voice again...

Peace

Last year I  had an unofficial word or theme for my life: Thankful... The Lord really molded and chiseled and cultivated in me a heart of thankfulness for all of the grace He has given me(my children, my husband, my home, my salvation...). In fact, it was my unnofficial word for 2 years. I don't know if that is because I just loved the concept so, or because it took The Lord that long to drill it in. :) 

This year I decided to officially choose a word for myself for 2014: 

PEACE!

Our home is chaotic. 

All. Of. The. Time.

While, there is so much I can not change, and would not even want to change, I have felt for the past several months that our lives need more stability. They need some peace. 

As the mother, the wife, the cultivator of our home, that task falls on me. Our homes climate is my responsibility and this year I want to bring a sense of peace to my family. 

Peace among chaos.

We have 5 children 6 and under...The twins are fifteen months and still babies in so many ways. There is so much business and noise that comes with a family of that size. I understand that. But even in the midst of all of the craziness, I feel that peace is still possible. Peace that they are accepted no matter what. Peace that they are loved every second of the day. Peace that comes with Mommy putting down her phone and playing "Sorry" after dinner. Peace that while I might discipline, their heart is most important to me. Peace that comes from me not sending texts about how little the twins have slept or how messy the house is. Peace from opening up our little "A Question A Day" book and reading just how much I adore him. 

Peace from a gentle and quiet spirit that really takes effort on my part. 

I want my husband to want to come home from work. I want my children to yearn to sleep under this roof.

"Peace. It does not meant to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart." 

 May this year be different then last year. May it be better. May it be a year that my family feels our homes climate adjust. 

May it be peaceful...

Grace...

The past 6 weeks have been some of the most difficult of my life. Without going into great detail, on November 19, my Dad's mom fell gravely ill and we were contacted by the hospital that she was unresponsive and family needed to come. 2 days later, with my dad, mom, and brother by her side, she passed away... God granted us grace, by granting my grandmother grace. He saved her sometime this past year... My memories of her this past year are of a different lady then I grew up knowing. She has always been generous and loved us fiercely, but there was a softness I had never seen in her before this past year... 

Thanksgiving week was rough to say the least. The Saturday after Thanksgiving our entire family flew to Florida and spent several days together before her funeral service. 

Immediately after we returned, we experienced several weeks of sick children and the chaos that is Christmas decorating and shopping after losing essentially 3 wks. Both my mother and Riley were very ill up until Christmas Eve. 

Following Christmas, we spent 5 days in Illinois with Blake's family that was really a wonderful time apart from Hadley and Ainsley's sleepless pattern! :) So we came home exhausted and only about an hour after arriving in Louisville, Hadley spiked a 101 fever and kept it for 4 days... 

At the moment no one is ill! At the moment, the twins are beginning to settle back into a sleep pattern that involves Blake and I getting some sleep at night. At the moment I am typing away on my computer for the first time in months... I feel a bit like I am coming out of a fog. I feel like I am coming up from... not a pit, but perhaps a small hole? I found the above quote on Pinterest a few weeks ago and felt that it applied to this time of my life quite perfectly. 

Grace... It is all grace. 

I'm ready for 2014...

"Completely and perfectly and incandescently happy..."

Photo courtesy of Caleb Drahosh

Baby Brother Is All Grown Up

My little brother Paul(who is about 7-8 inches taller then me) graduated from college(with honors) in May! What a fun day to celebrate his accomplishment! All 5 kiddos stayed home with 2 babysitters and Blake and I were able to attend the graduation and go to a celebratory lunch! I am so proud of Paul!

Paul and Joel - Best friends since childhood!

Paul and Laura

Paul and Rene(mentor)

Paul and Drew - Best friends

Big Girl Baths

These photos are not of the best quality, but I had to post them! None of our children have liked baby baths, and the twins were no exception... Until they could sit up! These pictures are from their first "big girl bath"! That was a fun night for Blake and I as we sat and watched them laugh and giggle and smile! This night was a few months ago, but as I have said before... This is my photo album! I need to remember! I want to remember! These were a precious few minutes of watching our babies grow up just a tiny bit.