Changes...

Yesterday, I was told by my dr what I have been waiting to hear for months... years really. Fibromyalgia.

The symtoms became acute several years ago - But going from full time to part time work helped. I had made a basic tirip in when everything started - The fatigue. The pain. The aches. But I never followed back up because the part time work had helped so much. And picking up Will didn't really affect it much either. He was such an easy baby. There was of course the girls pregnancies - But you just expect everything to hurt. You expect to be tired. Emery had her first birthday last week. Since her birth the aches and pains have been bad. It is hard to pin point the fatigue. Emery still wakes often during the night. I am still struggling with my bloodwork and iron levels. Of course I am tired. All of the time.

A few weeks ago I began to get knots. One on my ankle one day. A few days later one of my forearm. A few on my knees at different times. They last about 24-48 hours. They are very painful to touch and hurt even without pressure. "It is time to go back to the doctor," my husband said.

We were there only a few minutes - He read my chart. Reviewed the symptoms. Pushed on a few "trigger points" and said the word "fibromyalgia". I knew it was coming. In many ways it doesn't change anything. I have felt this way for years. And in someways it changes everything. For years I have hoped that I would just "get over it". That if I caught up on sleep Id feel better. At least now we know. This is here to stay. It isn't going away tomorrow.

We can schedule our lives better now. We know earlier bed times are necessary. We know slower schedules will help. We know that bad days are inevitable.

Last night Blake and I went with friends to see Steven Curtis Chapman and his family sing and share about adoption and their healing from the death of their 5 year old daughter. It was perfect timing for me. I was feeling a little depressed - and then spent an evening listening to people share how God had picked them up from the pit of despair, brought healing about from something I could never imagine. It certainly put things in perspective.

We convet your prayers. They took a few vials of blood to test for auto-immune disorders just to be sure. I have had the tests run several times in the past several years so I am sure it will all return fine. My dr immediately started me on some medication made specifically for fibromyalgia. There are 3 medications that all seem to help a different symptom better. They are treating my pain right now. He said it will take about a month to really begin to feel results. A month seems like nothing compared to the past few years. Pray it works swiftly and effectively. Pray for my husband for strength and energy as he steps up to the plate to help take care of our family.