Thursday, June 2, 2011

It's Going Too Fast...

I wish I could freeze time. If I could, I would. I feel like my children are growing up much too fast! I mean, I know I am going to love this next phase of life. We are playing t-ball, doing crafts, taking lots of walks, playing in sprinklers... But all of the sudden... All of the sudden they are outgrowing naps(2 at least).  There are play dates and scooters and bikes and purses and nail polish and big kid cups with no tops. Where are the rattles and teethers and bottles? The things that remind me we have such a very long time before these kids grow up... I want to remember them this way... Always.

I want to hear 4 years old and think of the way that Will can now scoot around on that razor scooter 10x faster then when he was 3. :) I'll never forget the way he joined the mob of tball players that tackled one another for that ball every. single. time. :) He loves going to the movies and playing with his sisters and is still in love with trips to the zoo. It is at 4 years old that I believe Will really began to understand what it meant to apologize and mean it. He doesn't always mean it, but often he is truly repentent. Will's soft heart is one of the many things that marks this age for me.

For me, 2 years old mean a passionate fear of bugs. Riley is terrified of them. That and dirt... I love how girly she is! There is nail polish, purses, shoes... She talks on her "phone" often. The paci - what let me feel like she was still, in some way, a baby - is gone. No naps. No bedtimes. It was hard, and I won't wait so long with Emery. :) 2 years old... But rushing off to play with her friends. Helping me cook dinner by handing me potatoes or putting an empty box in the trash. 2 years old... I think of Riley's sensitive heart. How she kisses and says "I love you" all on her own. And though it terrifies me, I also love the fact that she joyfully speaks to strangers. You should see the smiles she can capture.

And 20 months... Oh, no. Emery just turned 21 months! See what I mean? I blink and it's gone. 21 months for Emery means sentences of 3 words! It means, baby dolls that I am continually swaddling for her. Emery's favorite word? "No". I keep trying to convince myself that she didn't learn that from me. 21 months marks the the month that Emery learned how to climb up the ladder into our fort and go down the slide all on her own. I hold my breath everytime, but force myself to stay planted where I am, because 21 months is now much too old for mommies to help with that sort of thing... WHAT? My greatest joy in her the past few weeks is to begin to see her turn that glaring eyed look into a sort of playful look as she begins to realize she is about to be in trouble... She is learning the correct responses and even responding with them at times!

Tomorrow, I won't want to go to a HOT t-ball game... Or I might be too tired to paint 10 little finger nails that just can't manage to remain still... Or that 21 month old bottom will hit the ground too hard after sliding down the slide alone. I will be annoyed. I will be impatient. I will be unsympathetic. I don't want to be. I am going to try hard not to be. But when I am?... I will read this. I'll remind myself that I one day he might not want me at every single game(though I promise I will be anyway). One day she will be able to paint her own fingers. One day sliding will be for babies or little kids...

 And one day I will wish we were back here. Right where we are right now. 4 years old. 2 years old. 21 months old. How good is my life?

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