Torn

I haven't had words. I have wanted to, but they just haven't come. The thoughts haven't formed. I think it's because the Lord knew we needed a break. A 2 year break really. A break to diaper and bath and feed and play and school. Time to build character and speak truth to little hearts that are beginning to understand the most precious truths. We have needed every spare second to hug and kiss and cuddle... There is alot of that with 5 little bodies.

And now summer is upon us... And I can't decide if it has been enough time. I love this blog. I love the memories. The reminders. The markers of God's goodness and faithfulness. But one of the many things that the Lord has been doing for me is instilling in me is a desire for the "here and now". My children are growing! I have become afraid to even blink! :)

So, I'm not sure if I am back yet. I want to be. I hope to be. But if I'm not? It's because I am just having too much fun. I am making memories. I am living in the moment. I am being reminded that today only happens today. I can't get the time back. I can't relive the hours or experiences.

If I'm back, it's because 5 kids does something to one's memory and I want to be sure to remember... To remember them now, while they are little. While they can still crawl on my lap. While they still want to hold my hand and kiss my lips.

Life is good. God is good. We are blessed. Maybe I have begun to find my voice again...